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I still identified as bisexual, because I had crushes, went on dates with, and hooked up with people of various genders. Sure, people mistook me for a lesbian and hurled associated slurs at me, but I felt solid in my bisexuality.ДЇor many years after that, I dated cis men almost exclusively, mostly as a result of convenience. I also helped start the Gay/Straight Alliance at my high school. I had crushes galore, and gender felt irrelevant to my attractions. I was very comfortable identifying as bisexual then. It was with her that I had my first sexual experience.

I started dating my first love, a woman, when I was 15. Over the course of my life, because I internalized so much stigma around bisexuality, IвЂ™ve struggled with claiming this identity that at first felt custom-made for me. Unfortunately, my road to strong, assured bisexual identity was riddled with potholes, as it is for many of us. Not only was there a name for what I felt, but I wasnвЂ™t alone after all. Learning the word bisexual on the bus that day a couple of years later was an unforgettably powerful moment of validation. I was both-and I thought I was the only one. As I saw it at the time, there were girls who were attracted to boys, and there were girls who were attracted to girls, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldnвЂ™t simply pick one. I wasnвЂ™t straight like I was supposed to be, but damn it, I wasnвЂ™t this countercultural вЂњgayвЂќ thing either. But I went home and asked my dad what that meant, and it still didnвЂ™t fit. In the fifth grade, when a friend of mine sneered that I was gay as an insult, I thought maybe I had landed on a name for what I felt.

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Many queer kids have a similar experience: WeвЂ™re presented with only one option of what relationships look like-cis man plus cis woman equals true love forever!-and we can sometimes sense early on that something about our internal experience feels different. But as a kid without a deep understanding of gender, I was nonetheless struck by my best friendвЂ™s definition. The simplification of being attracted to men and women (especially wherein these genders are assumed to be cis) is not only incorrect but also harmful. Like her sister identities, such as pansexuality and omnisexuality, bisexuality implies an attraction to multiple (or all) genders. Bisexuality is more complicated than that, of course.

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